Marriage: What a Laugh!
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him”
— Oscar Wilde, Irish poet
My husband and I laugh a lot.
We both have a great sense of humour, but we don’t necessarily find the same things funny.
I like potty humour, he prefers viral TikTok videos.
I appreciate slapstick and farce, he enjoys romcoms and sitcoms.
We both like to indulge in a hearty helping of The Golden Girls and our favourite classic and contemporary British comedies, although I’d take Benny Hill over his AbFab any day.
The source of the humour is not important, it’s the laughter together that matters. Watching your partner find joy in something, even if that something is complete nonsense, will, in turn, bring you joy. I love hearing and watching Jason laugh. When he laughs, I’m laughing right along with him. And to clarify; we never laugh at each other; we always laugh with each other. While we know it’s okay to poke a little fun at each other, we recognize that it is never okay to make each other feel stupid or inferior.
Life isn’t always going to be blissful. Sometimes it throws us a bad day and sometimes we may find ourselves experiencing a prolonged period of “hard times”. In those moments it can be difficult to find something to laugh at, but we have discovered that laughter is, indeed, the best medicine. Humour, and the subsequent laughter it produces, has many therapeutic effects on the mind, body, and spirit. It relieves stress, relaxes our muscles, reduces tension, increases energy, lightens our burdens, inspires hope, connects us to others, keeps us grounded, and adds joy to our lives. Studies have shown that ten minutes of laughter is equivalent to two hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Back in 1998, a film called PATCH ADAMS starring the late and great Robin Williams told the true story of Dr. Hunter “Patch” Adams, a medical doctor and clown who believes that laughter, joy, and creativity are an integral part of the healing process.
Biologically we know many of the amazing benefits of laughter. It lessens physical pain, improves mood, speeds up healing, and increases resilience. It does the same for our relationships.
Humour disarms. Humour relaxes. Humour releases negative energy.
The eminent psychologist on laughter, Robert Provine, Ph.D., of the University of Maryland, suggests that laughter isn’t really about humour. He contends that it’s more about relationships. When two people share a chuckle, they experience the relationship itself to be emotionally strong. People actually laugh more in conversation and through interaction.
Marriage is an enormous commitment, one that occupies a huge part of your life. A happy marriage can mean you have a partner to share that life with and experience together all the joys and hardships that come with it.
Jason and I love one another, but we also annoy each other more than we ever thought possible. But we still want to spend every irritating minute with one another, because we’ve learned to find the humour in every moment. We’ve learned to smile through our challenges and laugh our way through our troubles. Through humour, you can soften some of the worst blows that life can deliver. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you find a way to survive it.
Marriage is a three ring circus: An engagement ring is followed by a wedding ring which ultimately leads to the suffering.
If there is any kind of suffering in your relationship (physical, mental, emotional), seek out and take advantage of opportunities to laugh every day.
- Watch a funny movie or video clip.
- Ask Google or Siri to tell you a joke.
- Recall a funny incident and share it with someone.
- Reach out to a friend or relative you know will cheer you up.
- Look for the absurd, silly, and odd activities in your surroundings that are sure to make you smile.
Spend time with joyful people who, as Monty Python suggests, “always look on the bright side of life.” Avoid those who are always negative and keep you locked in your own feelings of sadness and defeat.
And don’t take yourself too seriously. Remind yourself to lighten up. Laughter makes like more enjoyable. Humour makes difficulties more bearable. A simple smile can remedy any malady.
“The more you laugh, the more you fill with glee
And the more the glee, the more we’re a MARRYer we.”
— Mary Poppins