When Opposites Attract
My husband and I are a lesson in contrasts.
I’m a morning person, he – not so much.
He’s a night owl – I’m in bed by 9.
In a crisis, he’s calm and I stress.
He’s the housekeeper, while I’m the gardener.
I like the sun, he prefers the shade.
He stands, I sit.
He bathes, I shower.
He wears boxers, I wear briefs.
He binge-watches new shows, I re-watch old classics.
He is a constant source of inspiration while I’m his constant source of irritation.
He has his way of thinking and doing things and I have mine. His views and ideas may not always be in sync with mine.
While we may be different in many ways, we share so much of the same: love of family, a passion for whatever it is we do, and an undying commitment to one another and each other’s individual pursuits.
These are the things that matter.
It is in these moments that I’m reminded that the purpose of a husband (or a wife) is not to complete your life, but to complement it.
We may be a lesson in contrasts, but we complement each other so perfectly.
“Lots of reasons exist for why opposites attract when sharing a partnership, one of which is the excitement of exploring the unknown. But, when you have too many similarities, what is there to learn? There’s little adventure or challenge, leaving little room for fun.”
— Sylvia Smith, marriage.com
Relationships are full of triggers.
Our partners will push our buttons.
Our wives will try our patience.
Our husbands will piss us off.
There will be times when their words and actions are unwarranted, unwanted, unkind, and, frankly,
unacceptable.
They will frustrate, irritate, and aggravate.
I’m not easy to live with. I’m fully aware that I have habits and behaviours that are infuriating and even intolerable.
My husband reminds me of these annoyances every so often – things I do (or don’t do), how I do or don’t do those things, even some of the sounds I make!
And then there’s my temper. I inherited it from my dad. “Like father like son” is never truer than when it comes to my capacity to lose my cool when things don’t go my way.
I’m impatient and anger easily, usually over the most trivial of things. I often react rather than respond when faced with a situation I feel I no longer have control over.
The running joke in our household involves me putting up a “For Sale” on the front lawn every time something goes wrong. Internet went then? Put up the “For Sale” sign. Furnace not working? Put up the “For Sale” sign. Can’t find the Keurig coffee filters? Put up the “For Sale” sign. The hubster gets a kick out of it.
I admit it. I’m impatient and anger easily, usually over the most trivial of things. I often react rather than respond when faced with a situation I feel I no longer have control over.
React vs. Respond
“When you react, you are giving away your power. When you respond, you are staying in control.”
—Bob Proctor, Life Coach
The reality is that in life we will come face to face with many situations and a variety of individuals — some will be filled with love and joy and some will be filled with heartache and grief.
If we react to these situations or people when they present themselves, we will continue to experience pain.
If we respond to them with an open mind and an open heart, we will grow as a result.
Whether we choose to react or respond to what or whom we are faced with will determine the outcome of the rest of our journey through life. The trick, therefore, is to see these challenges not as obstacles on the journey, but as opportunities. Not as roadblocks that will stop us in our tracks, but as road signs that will help us navigate the occasional bumps in the road.
Author Shannon Spaunburg writes,
When things don’t always go our way, we have two choices in how we approach dealing with those situations.
- We can focus on the fact that things didn’t go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or
- We can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and identify the lesson we are being invited to learn.
Conversations with God teaches,
What you resist, persists. What you look at, goes away.
If we insist on focusing on the negatives, we will bring more negatives into our experience and miss out on the amazing things life has to offer. We can’t change the past, but we can learn from past experiences and live fully in the present moment.
“Seize the present moment as the only one you have. Drink in all of every moment and tune out the past which is over and the future which will arrive in time. And remember, wishing, hoping, and regretting are the most common and dangerous tactics for evading the present.”
— Dr. Wayne Dyer